after my cheating, we both decided to reconcile, but i turned him into a crazy person. how to help him?
I have had a drunken mistake a few years ago, and I have come clean to my boyfriend of 4 years several months ago. We have taken a break, went through countless days and nights of screaming and crying, and have decided to give this another try. I have tried to do everything in my power to make it up to him and to regain his trust, including agreeing to install a gps tracker into my cell phone. I have asked how I can help to fix the relationship, he simply said “just do whatever I tell you to do. It makes me happy.” and that I did.
We live 3 hours apart, by the way.
I tried to send him sweet little txt messages every now and then, and leave little sticky notes around his house with little sweet messages whenever I visit. I tried to please him in every way possible. I ask for permission to go out, I give him every little detail about the people I hang out with and where I’m going, and I’ll go home when he wants me home. I know you might think that this isn’t what relationships are suppose to be like, but well… In my opinion, this is the best way to start regaining his trust.
Sometimes he’s very caring and happy and sweet. But there are times where he completely freaks out and keeps saying we’re still not in a relationship. Sometimes he would talk about engagement plans. Sometimes he would ask me to move in with him. And then suddenly he would bring up the cheating thing and freak out again.
I understand. It’s totally my fault. I have no excuse. I take full responsibility. I really appreciate that he’s trying. I know it’s very hard for him. But I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do next.
It was my birthday last weekend, I have asked him to come over and have a nice dinner with me. But I just had a yeast infection and it’s not 100% cured yet, so I told him I would prefer not to have ***. And he immediately refused to come over. When I told him how much this hurts me, he brought up the entire cheating thing again. But when I suggested that we stopped trying, and that I wanted to move back home (on the other side of the country), he immediately said no and “if you cared enough for me, you’ll stay.”
If you want to call me names and judge me and whatever, that’s fine. I would really appreciate it if you can give me some suggestions as to what to do next.
Once a cheater is not always a cheater. Some people are really truly sorry and have come so close to losing someone so important that they are determined to never do it again. Believe it or not.
What can I do next? I tried not to push him. I even suggested that if he really can’t forgive then he can’t forgive and that I can just move back home and move on, but he was always against this idea and told me to stay. But after I agreed to stay, he would bring up the cheating thing again……